a mile of writing composed pen on paper on 5 x 150ft scrolls, inviting onlookers to describe when they felt most wild and free
supported by Pells Pool, Lewes, and the Jan Michalski Foundation, Switzerland
as featured by Radio 4, Oh Comely and the Outdoor Swimming Society
project photography by Steve Creffield
“A mile of writing. What patience it would take. What nerve. To be a woman in middle age, taking up space, claiming attention. Making an exhibition of myself. What Mother said I must never, ever do. Beyond the pale. Outside the fenced enclosure; into disrepute. Could it be done? What might it do to my life if I tried?”
the cure for sleep
For two summers, Shadrick knelt beside England’s oldest lido – Pells Pool in Lewes – to write a mile on scrolls of paper that, at 150ft, were as long as the pool.
The artist, a former hospice life-story scribe, offered herself as the pool’s genius loci: a spirit of place, quietly inviting swimmers and sunbathers to think about freedom and the importance of routines, creative as well as physical. These lines from poet Adrienne Rich underpinned her endeavour: ‘Freedom is daily, prosebound, routine remembering’ and ‘A wild patience has carried me this far.’
Shadrick describes the extraordinary form of the Wild Patience scrolls as an attempt to “play with the private in public….to combine the male energy of the ancient Japanese poets like Bashō, who travelled the countryside writing from nature, with the more intimate art of pillow books as kept by their female contemporaries. I wanted also to find out what would happen if I brought these older, Eastern rhythms, forms and practices to what is a difficult, distracted time in Western society. To have readers take in a story slowly, sideways, instead of through our easy screen-based scrollings down through text.”
The writing – which had a meditative quality both for the artist and those who watched her at work – moves between memory and desire, the here and now, commonplace passages collected for motivation or courage, and things seen and told.
The work earned Shadrick a fully-funded month-long stay at the Jan Michalski Foundation for Writing and Literature in Switzerland, on the condition that the last of the five scrolls was completed while in residence.
Public Participation
Although Shadrick worked in silence on the edges of the day, visitors to Pells Pool were welcome to keep her company in her labour. Some chose to sit or read alongside in silence; others talked while the artist listened. Others wished to answer the project’s central question: When did you feel most wild and free? In body? Your mind?
More on the Wild Patience Scrolls…
BBC Radio 4: Pursuit of Beauty: Slow Art (June 2018):‘ Twenty-two ash trees, shaped and sculpted as they grow quietly for 40 years, in a secret location; an extinct volcano filled with subterranean light passages; music to play for a 1000 years; a mile of writing, and a 5 hour composition for a string quartet…’ The Wild Patience Scrolls are featured alongside James Turrell’s Roden Crater, David Nash’s Ash Dome and Jem Finer’s Longplayer in this study of slow art.
University of Sussex: REFRAME/Life Writing Projects (Nov 2017): While the complete text of the Wild Patience Scrolls are not for publication, this site features some short extracts.
Outdoor Swimming Society (April 2017): “I look at the people in the pool and get a feeling akin to the bends: The pressure of so many lives in a patch of blue just 150ft by 75. Their loves and losses.” Tanya Shadrick on her poolside performance piece – and the depths it has sounded in the lives of others.
For BBC South East BBC Arts Correspondent Robin Gibson makes a return visit to Tanya at her poolside mile of writing, following the 2017 announcement of her award from the Jan Michalski Foundation for Writing and Literature in Switzerland.
For BBC South East Today Profile of Tanya at work beside Pells Pool in 2016, having embarked on her Wild Patience Mile of Writing.
Tanya Shadrick 
Dear Tanya
I found our exchange at the poolside deeply meaningful. Thank you for being there and holding the space that for me, giving me the opportunity to drop down more deeply within myself authentically.
Today I came to the Pells Pool to discover it completely empty. I found myself immediately entering an inner place of self doubt asking myself if I was allowed to swim, is all this space for me, is this possible? I had to check with several lifeguards before I felt I had permission to take the plunge.
After my ritual of sitting at poolside, and splashing water on my legs and arms to move through any psychological resistance to entering a cold pool, I found myself swimming towards you at the other end quietly kneeling at a low table completely absorbed in your process of writing. It was the simplicity of your presentation that profoundly affected me. I saw your quiet ability to be totally with your own involvement. Your presence allowed me to consider more deeply my own process of being in the water, which after all is, I realised, your invitation to us all: to experiment with what it might be to take the time to really be with ourselves…
So your presence, your holding of a space of quiet involvement, communicated to me the possibility of joining in. What I asked, do I notice about my experience in the water, what am I feeling, thinking? I began to pay attention to the movement of the water, the myriad colours that began to emerge on closer observation and presence of being, rather than a more shallow, generalised aquamarine. At one point I lost count of the number of lengths I was at. I usually set myself a twenty minute swim in which I am currently able to achieve 16 lengths. Yet when I lost count I began to wonder what 16 lengths meant to me as an identity. What would I be I wondered if I was 12 instead, or 18 lengths. Would I feel better or worse about myself? What would it be like to let go and just enjoy the process rather than stay fixed on the outcome.
As my thoughts moved within me, sometimes disturbing me, sometimes bringing me to a greater connection, there you were, dressed in a way that enabled me to imagine you as a woman from a more ancient time, some older being who knew what it was to focus on something important, something that I am able to meet at times in myself, but that can feel slippery and hard to stay hold of.
You looked so steadfast and I felt held by your presence, so that the young part in me that may feel lost at times, was enabled to grow and mature into a deeper essence of being, by what I experienced as an embodiment of the ancient lineage of mothers in you.
There was a sequence of words that came to me as I swam, that I am not sure I am able to articulate the full meaning of, but that gives me a sense of something deeply profound and meaningful: ‘There is only ever the blue line’, which is what came to me as I swam the blue line painted at the bottom of the swimming pool.
You helped me to step into a space I often don’t give myself permission to occupy. Thank you Tanya. I received so much from you being by the pool today. May you continue to spread your alchemy. With love and blessings.
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I love your idea ‘There is only ever the blue line’. If you experiment with that in your art practice, I’d be interested to see what comes. On that idea, do you know this poem by William Stafford? (Along with Adrienne Rich, his work informs a lot of my practice):
The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
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As someone who has particular associations with water that are quite sad in terms of personal loss and having had a sci fi imaginary explorer’s log book (with handwritten diagram entries) published, I am fascinated by your work. The scroll writing is also something I also find interesting. Best wishes, Ian Pyper
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Dear Tanya, I found the meeting with you deeply interesting. It’s a very rare thing to meet an artist working outside in public. You made me question myself, my view of reality and my lack of art in my life. Your work should be applauded and supported, as we need to question ourselves more and the reality around us. Keep writing forever. Kind Regards, Simon Brodrick-Ward.
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It was a pleasure to meet and talk with you, Simon, and I appreciate very much your taking time to let me know the effect on you of our meeting.
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Whilst sunbathing over the summer at Pells Pool, I noticed a lady sitting in the corner unrolling what seemed to be scrolls on her table. Scarf tied neatly around her head. My first thoughts were great, a creative lady, maybe a painter, painting life at Pells Pool. My curiosity got the better of me and I decided to pluck up the courage to ask her what she was doing. At the same time wondering if I was disturbing her peace and purpose.
A few shared words exchanged and I understood her presence and purpose at the pool. Interesting I thought and returned to my lazy day in the sun.
My real affinity and connection with Tanya came through her great selection of books that she had put by the pool as part of her residency for people to read. Quite a variety of books that had a central theme: being amongst nature and the love of water. From London Lidos to Wild swimming in Spain, the list goes on. All themes close to my heart.
So: Enjoying the summer days at Pells. I have read so many new books and feel I have been on a great adventure without leaving my sun lounger. Although I am an avid reader it was great to be inspired by new books that had not crossed my path before.
The one book that offered me some invaluable inspiration was called The Artist’s Way, a book that suggests you write every morning to awaken the dormant artist. I am an artist but sometimes life gets in the way and you put your creativity on the back burner.
After a few weeks of writing the morning pages I experienced a shift in my expression. And I decided I was not going to let life get in the way of my creativity.
So my Saxaphone Lessons are booked for September and a new avenue of study has also opened up starting in September.
Although I don’t know Tanya on a personal level I actually feel she has made a big impact on my life through her residency at Pells. So a heart felt thank you to Tanya for sharing and caring.
I wrote this for Tanya but also to share how important it is to support artists and artists in residence. It is the job of the artist to communicate and tell a story that allows people to connect and communities to evolve and as the above story/stories have all expressed. What a great role Tanya has played at Pells Pool this Summer.
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It has been a real joy for me to see you reading your way through the swimming-pool library this season, and to hear about your changes. Thank you for taking this time to add your story to the project log. I will need to get some more books for you!
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I’ve really enjoyed following this project from afar, and it actively encouraged me to make the trip to swim at Pells myself. I’ve seen the diverse way Tanya and her project have inspired so many people, and I feel lucky to have known about it.
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What a great idea – a writer-in-residence at Pells Pool. I have loved turning up, swimming and then exploring your swimming pool library, revisiting some old favourites, exploring some new authors and wandering off on new reading adventures. Thank you for inviting me to contribute to the laps blog as well, daunting though it was to put something of my own out into the digital world. It has also been great to find out that there are so many other lido lovers out there – I have found out about so many new places to swim. There have been news reports in recent months that fewer people are swimming than ever before and I think that projects like yours could maybe encourage more people to enjoy swimming by seeing it in a different, perhaps more liberating and creative way. Finally, I hope that something bigger and longer-lasting can grow from your work this summer, not only here in Lewes, but at pools and lidos across the country as well.
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Completely brilliant to have (a) a writer in residence at the Pells this year, and (b) that it was Tanya. Inspirational, engaging, reaching out to a broad community – including slow swimmers (but fast writers!) like me. Proof positive you don’t *HAVE* to be a wet-suit-clad lap-churner to have a legitimate voice on issues aquatic. Totally positive experience in interacting and working with Tanya, and can’t wait to see continued fruits of her – and her ‘new’ community’s – engagement. Can’t think why the pool didn’t have a writer in residence before, but it’s really added to the season. The scrolls are a thing of beauty. Can’t wait to see how they’re used …
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Thank you Sam. I loved your Laps of Pells blog post for us – so many pool-goers told me that what you said was true for them too. Like your idea of a pool party next season for all who have been involved in the blog, the poolside poems, readers of the library & so on. I will make it happen.
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Dear Tanya,
it was quite a while ago that I met you. The beginning of summer, I think. We talked about wild patience and crazy wisdom and you gave me a book of Rumi poems. It has taken me a while to write to you, but I have kept your postcards tucked into my diary, next to my to do lists and appointments and doodles by my children, waiting for the right intersection of quiet time and remembering to get them out and write to you.
It felt like a very beautiful, tender moment of connection to me, when you shared with me what it was you were doing. It touched me very deeply that you were moved to give me the book. It opened something in me about the need for intimacy and creativity and flow.
Swimming has been how I have begun to find my way back to myself – a moving meditation in mother earth’s amniotic waters, is how I feel about it sometimes. Sometimes it’s a grumpy, slightly misanthropic inner grumble about people being in my way, knowing really, that my actual problem is my discomfort with being me. I am slowly returning to my own body, though, after being locked in by the muscular armour that built up around my heart to protect me while I went through wave after wave of PTSD.
I live near the nudist beach in Brighton and I often swim out past the buoys that mark the swimming area, to where the sea is a deep jade green and, in the late afternoon, the golden light on the water is mesmerising. I float around there, alone and peaceful. I can look back at the city from there and it feels like I have a moment for myself that is truly sensual, as I let the colours and sensations sink in and merge with all of the beauty.
That is when I feel most wild and free these days.
I once spent several months living alone in a hut on the beach of a little Thai island. I would sleep with only big spiders for company, leaving the door open so that I could watch the moon rise over the headland and listen to the sea as it swished about under my hut. In the morning I woke with the sunrise and walked across the bay on the sandbanks that the low tide had revealed, being trailed by a pack of village dogs. I’d go to the morning market and buy papaya from the red-teethed ladies and go back and sit on my balcony eating it with juice running down my chin.
I had no watch, no phone, no agenda, no lists, no children and no other place to be. Nothing but me and the sea and the sky and the glorious, lush, soft feminine mother-body of the island. That was when I really felt the most wild and free.
Thank you for sharing yourself with us and giving us permission to open and share in return.
xxx Bella
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I remember our meeting well and so this is a lovely & well-timed surprise: I am just arrived for a month in Switzerland as writer-in-residence at the Jan Michalski Foundation for Writing & Literature (more proof, look, that these quiet and determined pursuits are valued still in the world). Your beautiful writing has arrived in time to be written into the fifth and final scroll of the five, which I am completing here by the end of September. Thank you.
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